Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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