My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
