put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
