I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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