What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
