Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
