So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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