I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
