So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
