Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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