just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
