She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
