I look better un-naked...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
