I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize