It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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