Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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