got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize