This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
