people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
