I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is the high leading the old right now
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
