u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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