Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
