a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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