sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
