Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize