my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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