he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
