i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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