my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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