Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
