Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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