problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am one with the molecules
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
