Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize