every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
