im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
