i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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