I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
