Don't you send me to vm
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
