im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
