Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
