I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
bring money and cleavage
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
