Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
