I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
