think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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