playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
