this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
