I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
