Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize