I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
