Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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