So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
