Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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