the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
