We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
