ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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