do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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