Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
