Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
