White coat. Heels.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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