someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
