apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
