I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
