Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
