He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize