I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
