haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
