Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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