go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
