I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
