Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
