There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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