I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
