that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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