Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
