apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
