can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
