the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
