Sponge bath it is.
my shit smells like andre
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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