Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
