Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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