Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
